Applied Indifference

That’s what my mother said yet again yesterday.  I finally came up with a response.

Pick up a glass.  Wrap your hand with an entire roll of duct tape.

Now let the glass go.  Just let it go.

You can’t.  Yeah, I know – break the glass.  Permanent solution to a temporary problem.

That’s where the drugs come in.  They dissolve the tape, a little at a time.  I’m learning to deal with the anger, now that the trap is being untied.  But it’s going to be a long time before I’m anywhere near “normal”, if I ever get there at all.

But at least now I’m functional and not curled up in a ball in the middle of the floor.

Tags: This is my brain on drugs by Brian Corbino
Comments Off

Upon advice of a friend, I’ve decided to grant cat a temporary reprieve from exile.

All the catnip toys have been tossed.  Even a little whiff of this stuff is obviously driving my cat insane.

And no more liver in the food, as this apparently makes poo stink horribly.

And we’ll try a different litter and see what happens.

Tags: This is my brain on drugs by Brian Corbino
Comments Off

I think I can say conclusively that the cat experiment is an absolute failure.  My mental health has been in continuous decline since the cat came in to my life.

I can’t sleep, since the cat keeps crawling on my face to get to the nightstand to either drink out of my water glass or knock everything on the floor.  I can’t work because I’m constantly interrupted by the sound of something else crashing to the floor.

This cat is destroying everything.  I have to keep everything out of her reach, and she’s finding new and interesting ways to get into my shit.

And the smell.  She shits, and the whole house instantly reeks.  Even if I clean the shit out of the box immediately and spray the hell out of the place with lysol, it still reeks of shit for an hour.  Cat shit is possibly the most foul smelling excretion you will ever experience.

So, either she goes or I go.  And since I’m the one paying the mortgage on this place, I’m staying.  By the end of the week, she’ll be Someone Else’s Cat.

Tags: This is my brain on drugs by Brian Corbino
Comments Off

Neither do I. It’s quiet. No hum. No background noise.

I used to have to meditate for an hour to get to this state. Now I can sit still, and my brain goes calm.

It’s never done that before.

I have no words. Maybe later.

Tags: This is my brain on drugs by Brian Corbino
Comments Off

Did the Big E yesterday. I do NOT like it when strangers touch me. And they did way too much of that yesterday.

And that still freaks me out.

Too many people. Too much traffic. Never going on a Saturday again. NEVER.

Tags: This is my brain on drugs by Brian Corbino
Comments Off

Interesting. I could feel a bogus anxiety attack (that’s what I call it when there’s literally nothing I’m anxious about but my body goes batshit anyhow) starting. And it just kinda faded out. I can still get nervous about stuff I should be nervous about, but it’s not crippling like it once was.

If you’d told me that a little pill less than a centimeter in diameter could have this much impact on my life, I’d have told you that you were mad.

Tags: This is my brain on drugs by Brian Corbino
Comments Off

Yet another major milestone for me. I was in the presence of children all day Sunday. I did not freak out even once.

In fact, I think I rather enjoyed it.

I don’t know yet if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I’ll get back to you.

Tags: This is my brain on drugs by Brian Corbino
Comments Off

What other possible explanation is there for my getting 93% on Expert on “Let Love Rule”?

Tags: This is my brain on drugs, Video Games by Brian Corbino
Comments Off

Had an anxious day. I doubt it was the coffee, since I was getting this way without coffee before, and I had coffee and tea without feeling all shaky and dodgy.

It didn’t last all day, which was promising.

Tags: This is my brain on drugs by Brian Corbino
Comments Off

Had a few people comment that I’m a lot more mellow suddenly.

Better living through chemistry!

Tags: This is my brain on drugs by Brian Corbino
Comments Off